At the age of 66, armed only with his wit, his pencil-thin mustache, and a cardboard sign that read "I'm Not Psycho," John Waters hitchhiked across America from Baltimore to San Francisco. More attuned to the weirdness of people than most—he was the filmmaker behind Hairspray, Pink Flamingos, and Cecil B. DeMented, after all—Waters freely admitted the lunacy of this endeavor before he set out, and imagined the best and the worst that could happen. Both of those possible journeys are here, and in his wickedly funny style Waters writes of the trip that was and the trip that might have been—each one fascinating and hilarious in its own way.