Back when wearing a mask—or not—was a decision made mostly on Halloween, David Sedaris spent his time doing normal things: learning to shoot guns with his sister, buying gummy worms to feed to ants, and visiting flea markets in Serbia. But then the pandemic hits, and like so many others, he's stuck in lockdown. In this characteristically funny account of a life not exactly well-lived, Sedaris reflects on that bizarre year of vacuuming his apartment twice a day, failing to hoard anything, and pondering how sex workers and acupuncturists might be getting by during quarantine.