"Your sister / smells like / an armadillo's armpit / and is always texting / leprechauns." "Your best friend / plays sports like / a sweaty yeti / and won't shut up about / sock puppets." "Your dad/ has all the brains of / a ventriloquist's dummy / and poses for selfies with / weasels." How do you come back from insults like that? Comedy writer and performer Mike Barfield presents this clever collection of devastating putdowns (the preteen crowd seems to find them particularly hilarious). Each page is sliced into five sections, so you can freely mix and match the components to generate over 60 million beastly barbs for any occasion—even if it's only hilarity at the dinner table.